


Odontophobia

by MartinaEvans



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dentist Roger Taylor, Fluff and Humor, Freddie is a good friend, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Poor Brian May, Student Brian May, and Paul a little shit, and basically translated my own story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 00:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18042053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MartinaEvans/pseuds/MartinaEvans
Summary: Brian May had always considered himself an intelligent guy: he had already graduated, he was about to start a doctorate, and Hell, even his mother did nothing but repeat how good, clever, mature was his little man!At that moment, however, curled up in his chair in the waiting room, on the verge of a nervous breakdown and with a great desire to cry, Brian looked much more like an overgrown child compared to a brilliant astrophysicist: ... but wasn't his mother always right?





	1. #1

**Author's Note:**

> Good evening! I've come back with the translation of my previous (humorous, I hope) Maylor story, Odontophobia! As always, I hope I did a good job - proud little Italian right here - and didn't put too many mistakes in it! (I'm getting back on track with my English, I swear, but please let me now if you see something tremendous)

Brian Harold May - 25 years old, with a degree in astrophysics and a PhD which he had recently begun - knew very well that there was no reason to be afraid (rationally speaking).Hell, people do that all the time, and no one's ever died, have they? Even the two children sitting next to him were giggling serene, so why was his heart about to explode? Perfect, all that was missing was the dizziness. Perhaps if he had listened to his common sense, and had breakfast, now he would not have been on the verge of a hypoglycemic crisis... But the terrible nausea that caused his stomach to twist at that moment was the same that, a few hours before, had made him freeze in front of the steaming bowl of porridge (it had seemed to him that it had turned into a three-headed monster, with raisins instead of its eyes).

\- It's okay, darling, it's normal to be a little anxious. - Freddie shook his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. He was clearly amused, and he did almost nothing to hide: witnessing the breakdown of the stoic facade of his curly friend was definitely unusual. A sudden flash suggested that Freddie had just taken a picture of him: - This goes on Instagram, sweetheart, my hundred thousand followers demand drama. -

Brian was about to insult him badly, but a new wave of pain made him twist on thechair: it was the end. What a pathetic death, what a terrible fate! He was out of breath, his sight was becoming blurred, the sounds around him turned into a single, long whistle... and that glow? Was it the famous light at the end of the tunnel? Yes, he could see the gates to Heaven! Finally, that long agony was over! 'I'm coming, John Lenn- SCIAF!'

\- Mercury, what the fuck are you doing?!? 

Freddie started laughing loudly, the hand that had slapped him still in mid-air.

\- Sorry, honey, but you were becoming hysterical. My God Brian, all these stories for a cavity!

A cavity? That was not a cavity in his mouth, Brian thought, but a whole team of bricklayers equipped with pneumatic hammers! And all because he ate way too many sweets for one or two days... Okay, maybe even three or four, but this did not justify the fact that now he found himself with a crater in his right molar: he had however kept an enviable oral hygiene (considering the urticaria that the word 'dentist' triggered), he did not deserve it.  
Probably his tooth enamel reacted very badly to all the sugars other than those of his beloved fruit: but it had been his birthday, and even for a health-conscious person like him, not indulge a little (how good could the Red Velvet be? It had also been decorated with stars and dark chocolate guitars) would have been excessive: he was a vegetarian, not a healthy food terrorist.

\- I'm not making a fuss, Freddie, you know my hatred for this place! The mere thought of someone putting those hellish tools in my mouth, without me seeing them, makes me very anxious. And itchy. No, do not start saying it's for my own good and crap: if it didn't hurt like a bitch...

\- Ssssh, darling, keep your voice down!

\- Yes, curly, your charming friend is right: you keep it down .

The moustached guy in the back of the waiting room had finally decided to stop checking out Freddie (squeezed into a pair of dark leather shorts) to give Brian an angry glance, but the astrophysicist didn't care. He didn't like him at all, and moreover, he looked like one of the Village People: Brian hated the Village People.

\- I'd leave it rotting where it is, at the price of not making out with someone for the rest of my life!

Not that he had expectations of romantic nature in his future, at least not after Chrissie had left him three days before their seventh anniversary, when Brian had already bought the ring and was about to propose her.

\- Are you okay, sir? -

One of the two children, the chubby and blond one, looked at him with big green-blue eyes.

\- Be a good boy Ben, leave him alone - his mother - an attractive woman in her mid - thirties who didn't bat an eye during Brian's tantrum, too absorbed (at least, apparently) in reading a fashion magazine - immediately scolded him.

\- No, please, don't worry! - Brian quickly re-composed himself, determined to regain some of his savoir-faire and, after clearing his voice, he turned to the little one: - Everything is fine, Ben, I'm just a bit nervous: I don't think I'm as brave as you are. 

\- Mom says that only gutless and pathetic people are afraid of the dentist, and I'm not pathetic, am I Joe?

The other child stared at him adoringly: - No Ben, you're the bravest of them all! - he answered promptly, to which Ben puffed out his chest, flattered.

Brian smiled, and for a minute he forgot about the tooth, the pain, and did not notice Freddie slipping an excited "Oh Sweet Mother!" at the sight of the photo of a certain part of the body that Jim had just sent him: those two were really adorable, they reminded him so much of himself and Tim, when they were in kindergarten.

\- Hey, Mr. Pathetic, look at this! - Brian was shaken from his momentary trance and turned his gaze to Ben who, keeping his mouth open with both hands, proudly showed off his bloody gum - I hit the door and lost a tooth! Mom says that maybe the doctor will stitch me up! But I don't want to, it's funny to see the food turn red every time I bite..., s-sir. Pathetic?

Brian knew that he had taken on all the possible shades of green and yellow: just long enough to recover for a moment, that scene worthy of Stephen King's bloodiest book was in front of him. The room started spinning.

\- I'll get you!

Freddie was quick to prevent him from crashing ruinously on the ground, and began to wave him with a newspaper: - Stay with me, darling! Madam, would you mind bringing me a glass of water? - the woman nodded in dismay and rushed to the water dispenser. Ben had remained, literally, with his mouth wide open and a guilty expression painted on his pale face.

\- Is he dead? -

\- Let's hope so... - It was the guy with the mustache talking again.

\- No, dear, he's not dead, he's just a wuss. Quick, help me lift his legs!

\- I- I'm fine Freeeeddie, reeaaally... - Brian, half lying on the floor, came to his senses.

\- You'll be fine when I say so! Drink this, and no more jokes Brian! My poor heart can't handle this pressure any more. Do you know that fear causes the skin to age prematurely? You want to see me at 30 full of wrinkles, huh? And be glad that Deaky didn't come, he wouldn't have been so patient. - 

The astrophysicist struggled to get up on the chair, and began to breathe slowly, trying to calm down: the child was right, he was simply pathetic.

\- Excuse me, Mr. Path-- I mean, Mr. Brian, I didn't want to scare you. - Ben mumbled, staring at his toes.

\- Yes, he's not bad, I swear!. - Joe echoed him with a thread of voice.

Brian was about to reassure them and tell them that no, it wasn't their fault, but his damn odontophobia, that the door of the studio opened slowly.

\- Next... Brian May?


	2. #2

It was a dark-haired lady with a French accent that had just spoken and who was now staring at the bizarre scene in front of her with a puzzled smile.

\- Brian May? It's your turn. - she called again when no one answered.

\- Come on, handsome! - whispered to his ear Freddie, emphasizing the concept while giving him a discreet pat on his butt.

Brian got up from his chair and began to torch his bony hands nervously: with the corner of his eye, he could see the faces of those who had now become his companions in misfortune, staring at him in anticipation. He took a deep breath and adjusted his tangled dark curls: if he were to fall, he would have done it as a hero, and with dignity. So he cleared his voice and with the calmer tone he managed to achieve, he thundered a loud (maybe too much loud) - I'm coming. -

Dominique Beyrand, assistant - as the card on his green coat said - went back to let him through and, before the door closed behind his shoulders, Brian clearly heard Freddie's "Kick everyone's ass, sweetheart!"

Inside the studio, everything was as he remembered: the aseptic white of the walls, the orthodontic unit that dominated in the middle of the room, the metal instruments that shone threateningly under the bright lights, and even the smell - that terrible smell of cleanliness and something else indefinable - was the same. 

Brian gulped loudly, as a drop of sweat committed suicide on the collar of his shirt: it was starting to get too hot, and he couldn't unbutton it any further without risking to look like a boor, with his chest hair in plain sight.

\- Please sit down, Dr Taylor will be here any minute. -

\- Dr. Taylor? - And who was that now? He was starting to hyperventilate!  
\- Oh, have you not been informed? Dr. Foster is still recovering: you know, he's had a bad stroke and he needs to be at complete rest. But don't worry, you're in good hands: it was him who personally chose Dr Taylor as his replacement.

At that point, Brian was lying in his dental chair, pale as a ghost: he hated surprises even on Christmas Day, let alone in already problematic situations like this one.

\- No, no, I must be visited by Dr. F-f-f-foster, not by others ... -

Dr. Foster was a short, fat little man in his mid-fifties, with frizzy red hair and dubious fashion sense: he had been taking care of him since elementary school, when Brian was a child with hypersensitive teeth and an insane passion for rigorously frozen fizzy drinks. Now, it wasn't a secret that Foster himself was the cause of his odontophobia, with his shallow eyes, sadistic smile and multicolored vests (he hadn't forgiven him yet for extracting treacherously three baby teeth from him, one two seconds apart from the other), but at least he knew what to expect: blood and pain.  
That change of plan was driving him crazy: what if this Dr Taylor had been even worse? A Satan's henchman rising from the depths of Hell, carrying cutters and surgical aspirators? What if he had removed his molar without hesitation, and especially without anesthesia? He had to run away from there. Oh yes, he would have run out of that evil cave, grabbed Freddie and run as fast as his two meters of legs allowed him to.

He was about to get up and sneak away, when a bright voice rescued him from his nefarious thoughts.

\- Here I am, Dom! - 

For a moment, Brian thought he was on the set of one of those popular medical dramas, where doctors are all piles of muscles wearing masks and gowns, nurses were basically porn actresses and the brooms closet usually hosted orgies. Because never in his life had he seen such a damn sexy doctor (usually he had to deal with clones of Foster, lucky as he was, and old ladies), and worse, he was sexy even with that unlikely green cap he had on his blonde head.

When he turned to him, Brian was stuck on the spot by a pair of big blue eyes that were studying him carefully, and he found himself drowning like a fish out of the water: he probably looked like a big idiot, trembling without restraint and twisted on the armchair.

\- Nice to meet you, Brian, right? I'm Dr. Roger Taylor! So, tell me everything. - Roger, always smiling, offered him a gloved hand and waited for Brian to shake it.

\- H-hi. - He decided to be informal, since the boy must have been about the same age as him, - I, yes... I had phoned Dr. Foster... -

\- That fool! - puffed unexpectedly Roger, sitting on the stool next to the curly and starting to play with the mirror - I had told him, to stop with the saturated fats, but no, the gentleman thought well to continue to stuff himself until he burst the veins in his brain. You know what? It serves him right, at least I can practice!

\- Practice? - Brian felt the anxiety mounting back inside him: he didn't want to end up dissected like a lab rat, no matter how tremendously fascinating was his tormentor, who was now stretching his thin legs and... cracking his fingers?

\- Yes, I just graduated and I've already been qualified! You knwo, I did some training in this studio, but Foster wouldn't let me do shit, oops - Roger pretended to be shocked, when Dominique, who was standing next to him, coughed up embarrassed.

\- Sorry Dom, I know, no swearing at work, got the gist. Anyway, Bri - can I call you Bri? You're my first patient ever, I want to have a special connection with you - what's your problem?

 

‘Life is my problem' Brian - who had now begun to pray, even though he had been an atheist since he had memory, had liked to answer, but he remained silent, not willing to risk being transferred to the psychiatric ward of St. Thomas Hospital.

\- Come on, I don't bite, I swear! ... Are you trembling? Wait, you're not afraid of me or something? - Roger turned towards him, until he basically on his face (he could feel his warm breath on the cheek) and squeezed his arm slightly. - Do I look scary to you?

What was left of the rational part in Brian's brain was screaming that yes, he was as frightening as all dentists, but the emotional component - which had now taken over since the ring of his alarm clock that morning - didn’t think the same, lost in the doctor’s blue eyes. Forget it, Roger had been the last drop that caused his bisexuality to finally show.

 

\- No, I'm just... I'm odontophobic! You and your torture equipment frighten me! And I would like to be anywhere else but here with you, I mean, with you, yes, but not here... Oh, bloody hell! - Brian had said the last words so quickly, that he hoped with all his heart Roger had not understood a (but oh, if he had understood, instead), so he slapped his hand on his mouth when the damage had already been done.

Roger, meanwhile, hadn't moved a millimeter, but his hand had descended down his forearm to lie flat on Brian's angular hip, and he had started to draw small circles, his pupils expanded.

\- I promise you, Bri, that from today you will be able to say goodbye to your odonfo - otonfo...Well, that thing there. All you have to do is relax, close your eyes: it will be over before you know it. Now tell me, what hurts?

The blond's voice had become low and seductive, and even closer to his ear: everything had to seem excessive to Dominique, who mumbled a feeble 'I'm over there, call if you need me' and fled.

\- I have a caries in my right molar. -

\- Let's see. Open your mouth for me, Bri.

Brian, though not without hesitation, did as requested: he squeezed his eyelids tightly when the light from the lamp above his head was suddenly turned on and tried to focus only on Roger's cheerful hum, who was meanwhile wearing his mask and his safety glasses.

\- That’s it Bri, good job.. Yes, it's a really nice cavity! You've been having a lot of fun lately, haven't you? You naughty boy! I could park a car there! Just yesterday I saw a lovely Range Rover in the car show-room…  
The astrophysicist gave him a smile (more than a smile, it probably looked like the beginning of a colic, considering the two plastic supports that held his mouth in place), appreciating the fact that Roger was trying to distract him with his babble - that guy, he understood, had an unhealthy obsession with cars - but he couldn't help not stretching like a violin string when the needle of a syringe was stuck in his gum.

\- Ssssh, it's okay!

The young dentist's small hands moved quickly and accurately, changing instrument from time to time, carefully drying the excess saliva that dripped on his chin: Brian lost track of time, and more than once he risked falling asleep, between Roger's light touches and the continuous noise of the dental drill. 

\- That's it! We’re done! You’ve been sooo brave, Bri!

What? It was over already? No blood splashes on the walls, no unmanly screams of pain and strange pliers stuck down his throat? Has Roger really been so good and fast that Brian hadn't noticed anything?

The blond dentist took the mouth opener off and handed Brian a glass of water: - You'll feel a little numb until tonight, that's normal, and the jaw will also swell, unfortunately for your pretty face.

Brian coughed up embarrassed in the spittoon, turning tomato red.

\- The only advice I could give you would be to eat some ice cream, but I don't think you want to come here soon, eheh. If I remember correctly, at Tesco's they make chicken pies that if eaten cold are a delicious...

\- I'm a vegetarian - Admitted the curly, vaguely embarrassed.  
\- How many things I don't know about you yet, Bri - had practically twittered Roger, taking off his glasses, mask, gloves and caressing his thigh covered in dark jeans: then he went out again on the dentist chair - Would you like to talk about it in front of a beer, without drills and syringes between us?

\- I'd be very hap... - The door bursted ope, making a big noise.

\- LOVIE, I MUST GO NOW, JIM IS ALL ALONE AT HOM— Oh sorry, did I interrupt something? Hey, I don’t remember you, dentist boy... Brian, are you sure was your tooth that hurt, and not something else?

Freddie - who came in theatrically, as usual - had all the good reasons in the world to wonder what the hell that green dressed blonde was doing to a dreamy looking Brian: he had left his friend scared to death, and now he found him with an erection.

Roger hoisted himself up from above his patient (not before winking at him) and regained a semblance of professionalism: - Do not worry...

\- Freddie, honey -

-... Freddie, Brian's mouth is as good as new now: a few days and he can go back to eating, drinking, doing things normally, if not better than before.

\- Uuuh, I like you! So if it's all right, I'll leave you in very good hands, Bri!

\- No wait, I'm coming too, Fred, I'm ready - Brian jumped from the chair and shook some imaginary dust from his jeans: he must have looked awful. Then he turned to the blonde: - Thanks Dr. Roger, I mean, Dr. Taylor Roger, Rog... Roger... - farewell to his last remaining neurons.

Roger smiled cunningly at him: - Take care Brian, I'll leave you some gauze, if I need it, and the visiting card with the date of the appointment. See you soon! … Dom, help me clean up, and let Ben and Joe in! -

Dominique peeped out of the office, uncertain: - But doctor, it's Mr Prenter's turn now, he's been waiting for more than an hour.

\- And let him wait another hour, for all I care he can rot on that chair, the asshole.

\- Dr Taylor!

***

\- So, dear, you're looking serene. Did you say goodbye to your odontophobia? - said Freddie, once they got to the car.

Brian twisted the card that Roger had left him, where under the words '23 March, h. 11 p.m, checking' a telephone number and a smiley face had been written.

\- Actually, Freddie, I think that, to properly overcome it, I’ll need to go to the dentist again, several more times.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!  
> Hope you enjoyed my story as much as I enjoyed writing it, and as always, hope you didn't find too many horrendous mistakes!
> 
> Thank you, and let me now what you think about it,
> 
> See you soon,
> 
> M.E

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for getting here,
> 
> Hope you enjoyed my story,
> 
> See you soon, 
> 
> M.E


End file.
